Showing posts with label sport. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sport. Show all posts

A 10 year cycling love affair

Today I would like to take a moment to celebrate and reflect upon a special relationship in my life.

It's been exciting but also stable, there have been ups and downs in the physical and emotional senses, and at times I have been tempted by the attentions of others. But right here, right now, I want to say loud and proud: "I love my Ribble".

My Ribble Winter Training Frame wasn't even new when it came to me and had suffered from being a wallflower as the previous owner has rapidly moved on to a younger, sleeker model. But in 2007 it became mine just in time for the Blenheim Triathlon.

We've done all sorts together. We've been slow together, we've been fast together, and we've had others question our love for each other.

"Good speed on that bike, mate," yelled an overweight and clearly overpaid muppet on a £3,000 TT bike as I scorched by him at Blenheim two years ago.

The thing is, I have never wanted to replace my Ribble; not really. I know that as a triathlete I have never reached my potential That is not down to the fact I have an 11-year-old aluminium bike, it is down to the fact that I have never trained properly for an event.

This bike has never let me down, although I can't say that I have reciprocated that reliability and loyalty. Why would I waste money and resources when I can't commit my time to improving myself?

I've heard Ribble be a bit dismissed as a brand by fellow triathletes; a bargain brand only suitable for beginners, not serious triathletes.

I can tell you that such has been the positive experience I have had that I would not hesitate to buy another, however tempting the high-end brands may be to the fashion-conscious triathlete.

My legs making my brain shut up

Anyone who is into cycling has heard of Jens Voigt. The legendary tough guy of Grand Tours who thrills fans with his breaks and his willingness to turn himself inside out in an effort to win a stage.



Probably his most famous quote is “Shut up legs” which is what he says to himself when his body tried to ease up in a race.



 
But when running I think I must be the anti-Jens Voigt because my legs aren’t the problem - it’s my stupid wimpy brain. Here’s a recent internal battle I had during an interval session on a treadmill.

--

Legs: Well this is going well. I feel like I’m flying. I might actually be faster than Quicksilver at this moment in time.
 
Brain: I need to look at the stopwatch.
 
Legs: Back off. You know it’s not over yet.

Brain: Need to. *checks stopwatch* Oh noes! There’s still 40 seconds left.

Legs: So what? We are Kool and the Gang right now.
 
Brain: Negatory. Ribs hurt - I think he’s getting a stitch
 
Ribs: He’s right. I defo hurt right now. So bad.
 
Legs: Brain’s fooling you Ribs. He’s trying to make you make me stop.

Brain: Ooo I am not. You take that back
 
Legs: Brain! Make Torso stand up straight!

Brain: *mumbles*
 
Ribs: Woah. That is loads better.
 
Brain: 20 seconds left. I can’t take it - I’m going to make Stomach throw up.
 
Legs: Do it then.
 
Stomach: Don’t bring me into this. I’m always on a light trigger anyway.
 
Brain: But there’s people watching. It’ll be embarrassing - you can’t really want me to throw up?
 
Legs: Look you fun-loving money-crusher. Throw up or shut up - we are doing this.
(nb: this was written before the watershed)
 
Brain: Aaargh. Arms have started to feel funny.
 
Arms: We don’t mind. It never lasts long.
 
Brain: I have spots in front of my eyes
 
Legs: No you don’t that’s a fly. We are doing this.
 
Brain: Woah. Only 5 seconds to go - may as well stop now.
 
Legs: I will come up there and kick you in the frontal lobe if you make Hands touch that dial.
 
Brain: I’m so thirsty.
 
Legs: *growls*
 
Brain: Wait a second. Wahey - we made it. I feel so alive
 
--- As the treadmill slows from 21 kph to 6kph, Nirvana’s Jesus Don’t Want Me For a Sunbeam comes on my headphones ---
 
Legs: See. Work hard, get your reward.
 
Brain: No way! You did not make that happen.
 
Legs. It’s Karma dude, it’s fucking Karma (nb: that sentence was written after 9pm)
 
Brain: I love you man.


Five things sports journos should stop saying

Sports reporting is a funny old thing.

Loads of pages to fill / dead air to talk over / blog posts to write and a fairly limited number of new things happening at any one time.

But it must also be the form of journalism which most churns out the same old tired cliches and phrases. Here are my top five:

1. 110 per cent
It's impossible unless your figure is comparative so leave it alone. I will accept "Newcastle United have increased their number of wins by 110 per cent". I will not accept "David Silva has given 110 per cent today". Go to the back of the class.

2. Unsung hero
Occasionally this is used correctly. For example, you might say that Attilio Lombardo is the unsung hero of Manchester City. Very few people know what he does, or that he is even at Eastlands, but as the team is currently very successful, he seems to be doing it well.

However, I will not be happy if I again see Scott Parker described as an unsung hero at Spurs. He is currently Football Writers' Player of the Year, Tottenham's fans sing his name louder than all others and the Match of the Day team go all misty-eyed at the mere mention of his name. Leave it out. Right out.

3. Referee
OK so this is not a cliche but, for the love of Le Tissier, please stop talking about the whistlers all the time. Yes. They make mistakes. Yes. We can see the errors after we have watched an incident 12 times from four different angles and at super slo-mo but come now do we need to pull every decision apart every game?

4. Good touch for a big fella
Footballing folklore goes that if you're tall you have limited skill because you always have a cold head up there in the clouds. So every time Crouch attempts a back heel or Carroll beats his man we have to hear about how unusual it is. Get over it. We rarely hear the phrase 'terrible touch for a tiddler' despite its obvious application in connection with Theo Walcott or Sean Wright-Phillips.

5. Literally
Do you know what literally means? It literally means that something is exactly like something else. So, catching myself in my fly when I zipped up after a loo break is literally the most painfully embarrassing experience I have ever had. Robin Van Persie is not literally a thoroughbred racehorse. Messi did not literally leave the defender for dead. And yes Jamie Redknapp I'm talking to you.

Mind you when you see what happens if people in football try out some new terminology, perhaps it's better they do stick to cliches.


WC 2010 and the media

Well, it's all over for another four years and once again ends in failure. This failure is a little bit special though as we have been tonked by the Germans - our footballing nemesis - rather than surrendering on penalties in the quarters or semis like the plucky top eight team we usually are.

Funny to see the media's reaction in this country and it really has highlighted how poorly served this country is by the sports media at large. We get platitudes and cliches and half-baked guesswork from nearly all quarters as the media lurches from patriotic supporter to uber-critic in the space of a few hours.

Desperation for a scoop is behind some of it. A genuine exclusive is almost impossible to come by during a world cup campaign as the pack is in full attendance and the players are flanked by press officers at all times.

As a result, any kind of controversy is blown up and eagerly seized upon by the rest of media. Anyone reading about John Terry's press conference would have presumed he had suggested chasing Capello back to Italy armed with pitchforks. Anyone watching it would have actually seen a senior and experienced player talking about his disappointment at being so rubbish and how he and other players were going to discuss it frankly with the manager.

It was clear that things were not peaches and cream but neither were they worth the kind of blanket coverage they received. Of course the public is interested but can that kind of coverage be said to be in the public interest?

The second aspect I am unhappy with is the way that an answer to a question is frequently used out of context.

Take today's article in the Telegraph which explains why the team is such a worthless and pampered bunch of overpaid prima donas.

Alright so that is a slight exaggeration but it outlines many of the gripes from the players. One is attributed to Wayne Rooney who "alluded to boredom when he said he did not like being asked to go to bed in the afternoons".

But did he? Or was he asked if he liked going to bed in the afternoons and replied in the negative - an honest and obvious answer to a dull question. How many young men do like being asked to go to bed (alone) in the middle of the afternoon? But now that the campaign has spluttered into failure, the answer has been woven into an article proving that Rooney is not a player struggling for form and fitness butking of the whingers.

Then there was Alan Shearer on the BBC's coverage who snorted with derision at Fabio Capello's assertion that the long Premier League season had left his top players exhausted.

The former England striker said: "He can't claim that now because before the tournament he said that the team were in tip-top condition. Also the Germans played more games than us."

Fortunately it wasn't just British journalists/presenters/experts involved and the Netherlands' Clarence Seedorf stepped in with some common sense. He pointed out that no manager would say his players were knackered before the tournament as it would give opponents a psychological advantage.

He also pointed out that the Germans may have played a couple more games but their season is aided by a winter break which allows them significant recuperation. However, that common sense did not sneak into the English papers this morning which invariably repeated Shearer's claims.

My favourite of all the shoddy journalism also came in the Telegraph this morning when chief sports writer Kevin Garside insisted that Capello should repay all the money he had earned and leave now. That was either a comment of a man pandering to the blame mentality afflicting our society or of someone naive to the extreme.

I want to read detailed and accurate match reports, in-depth interviews conducted in a professional manner and investigative reporting when it comes to finances and structures. The rest of the celebrity-based, sensationalist clap-trap I can leave ta.

Not all sports journalists are bad though. For some proper in depth material check out the work of Matthew Sayed in The Times (if you want to venture past the paywall) or Ed Smith .